Friday, October 29, 2010

Review of How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack

And you thought they were just cute little garden statues...not according to Chuck Sambuchino class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert. He says they are plotting revenge against us. If you live in a gnome infested area youa re at risk. In fact gnomes could be hatching an evil plan right now that involves your demise.



Forget about vampires. Don't worry about zombies.

What you need to be wary of are the cute and innocent looking garden gnomes.

They are everywhere. And they are plotting revenge.

There could be one in your yard right now plotting your demise.

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will) is the only book that gives you step by step instructions on recognizing impending attacks, protecting yourself against an attack and shows you how to fight back.

This book is hilarious.

If you need a laugh this is the book for you, especially of you need a break from all the vampire and zombie books currently filling bookshelves everywhere.

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will) description from Amazon:

Move over zombies and adolescent vampires.

There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.


Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.


If you live in the city or in an area with little green space you are probably safe from garden gnome attacks.

These little evil doers thrive in rural and suburban areas- in happy little gardens everywhere. Exactly where you would least expect suspicious activity.

From the book intro:

Keep reading if you want to live.

Call them what you want. Garden gnomes. Lawn ornaments. Little evil outdoor statuary hell-bent on world domination. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that, right now, they’re hiding in plain sight, pretending to be symbols of merriment and good will. But secretly, quietly, while pushing diminutive wheelbarrows and brandishing miniature flowerpots, they’re planning home invasions all over the world. Perhaps they’re in your backyard right now—and you’re staring at one while reading this.

1. Are You at Risk?

If you’re reading this book, chances are you’re in proximity to garden gnomes

Factors increasing your risk of an attack:


• For some insane reason, you actually own lawn gnomes.

• You live in a suburban or rural house.

• Your dwelling sits on secluded, wooded acreage.

• You live alone.

• You follow a strict routine, making it easy to predict your comings and goings.

• There are gnomeowners in your neighborhood.

Just think, before reading this book I was actually going to put a few of these little guys in my garden.

Not anymore. Not after reading about nefarious gnome plans and plots.

I am already at high risk because I live in a semi-rural/suburban area filled with gardens and landscaping. I know some of my neighbors have gnomes. They could be watching me while I'm out in the garden. OMG they could be watching me right now.

I bet now is the time when they will be most vicious. Winter is coming and everyone is clearing out the garden and packing stuff away- but how many leave their gnomes out all winter long? To suffer the cold and snow?

No wonder they seek revenge.

I better re-read this book so I can take precautions. From now on when I'm outside I'll have my baseball bat nearby (touted as the best weapon to use against a gnome).

Are you prepared if garden gnomes strike?

I will be (after I read a few of these chapters, I want to make sure I am fully prepared).

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Holiday Creativity with Shutterly

I love making holiday photo cards, photo books and other photo gifts for the holidays.

Finally something to do with all those pictures I take of the kids other than printing them out and shoving them in a box to be scrap booked later (which never happens).

And photo gifts are perfect for grandparents, family, and close friends.

Every year I make a photo book for my husband for Christmas- he looks forward to it. One year I was so busy I didn't get to make his book and he was disappointed.

I also make photo gifts for my mom- she never gets tired of having a beautiful photo book filled with pictures of her grand kids that she can show off at the senior center.

So far this year I've made a photo book and Halloween cards. I usually don't make Halloween cards but the designs were so cute and I had some great pics of the kids from last year that I decided to go ahead and make a few.

Now I am planning Christmas cards. I would love to use new photos but getting all three kids in the house together at one time is nearly impossible. The teenager is all grown up and never around. The other two kids...they are here but getting them to sit still for photos might be a problem.

My other dilemma is choosing which card design I like the best.

So far I have possibly narrowed it down to the following two Christmas card designs, which are actually the same design just different colors Slate Snowflakes and Cranberry Snowflakes:




The above two are both folded card designs.

I also like this flat card design - snow flurries cocoa.



Once I decide on which card I like the best I can also pick out matching Christmas address labels.

I love Shutterfly. I have used many photo book and photo gift design programs including Kodak, Lulu, Snapfish, and ArtsCow.

Shutterfly is by far the most user friendly and has the most options when it comes to styles and designs.

So I'm off to corral my kids for photos and then pick out a suitable card design.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Giveaway: $100 Christmas Shopping Spree to CSN Stores


Would you like to win a $100 to spend at CSN Stores?

Who wouldn't?

Just in time for Christmas shopping CSN has teamed up with Creatively Green to offer one lucky winner $100 to spend at any of the 200+ stores in the CSN network.

You could buy toys, kitchen items, baby stuff, a bed, a dining room table, bookcases and so much more.

What would you purchase?

And this bookcase



I really love this crimson ottoman/storage cube



And with free shipping on most items you don't have to worry about your $100 getting eaten up with shipping and handling fees.

This contest is open to US and Cananda residents

Canadian residents may have to pay extra for shipping

To enter you must leave a comment on this post telling us what you might purchase from CSN if you were chosen as the winner

please include a link to the item along with your email address

+5 Entries for being a Creatively Green Follower through GFC

+5 entries for following me on Twitter @everythinggreen

Contest opens today and closes Tuesday November 16 at Midnight EST

Winner Will Be Chosen Randomly and announced on Wednesday Nov 17