Writing with Kids - How do you juggle family life and writing?
It’s funny how often I get asked this question. The honest answer is I don’t exactly know. Give up sleep…lol? No, seriously, it’s definitely a regular exercise in patience, balance and carving out time in unorthodox places.
Here are a few Dos and Don’ts I learned along the way:
Do be patient with yourself- While I was writing my first novel, The Girl in the Triangle, I still had extremely young children. One was even a newborn at the time! With that in mind, I had to be patient with myself and accept the fact that completion might take longer than I’d like.
But don’t let yourself off the hook entirely! There is a fine balance here between setting realistic goals and making excuses to walk away. Life with kids (and well, life in general) IS chaotic. It is extremely tempting to give up on writing. One less thing on the plate! But as much as we’d like to believe that things will get easier when we just get to ____ fill in the blank milestone here, it usually doesn’t. This is why it’s even more important to fight those urges and just get your butt in the chair and get some words on the page to keep the momentum going!
Do carve out time whenever you can! I joked about giving up sleep earlier, but you might need to set your alarm earlier or stay up a bit later to grab some quiet time to write. I got up at dawn every day for years to complete my first book. It was the only time I had since my kids were too young to attend school yet. Now it’s grabbing some time in the car while my daughter is inside at ballet class or my son is at swim team.
Do find an accountability partner if you can. One of the best things I did was find a critique group. It would have been so easy to put off my writing time as life got hectic. But knowing I had pages due to turn in to my group kept me accountable. In some of the more crazy times we even did morning check-ins when we had to drop off a text to each other just reporting that our butt was in the seat! It really helped!
Don’t give up! One of my favorite quotes is by the writer, Gretchen Rubin. She says, “The days are long, but the years are short.” This really is soo true! Time flies by. Our children grow and our own time to fulfill our goals grows smaller as well. So don’t waste it! Let go of your expectations, excuses and need for quiet. Put on headphones and crank out a few sentences while your kid bounces on the couch next to you! (As I did to get this post written lol.)
There will always be an excuse not to write. But, the curse and the benefit of writing is that it is a solitary craft. So, therefore, if you want it, it’s up to you to make it happen! Good luck and I hope to someday see your completed words on the page!
Thank you so much for posting this and for participating in my book tour! It was a pleasure to participate in this interview with you. I hope it inspires some other writer parents out there! Have a great weekend!
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