How do you
juggle a family and writing? Don’t wait another minute because I have the
answer for you. I will provide 5 tips to help you balance your kids, cleaning,
shopping, laundry, and a writing career.
Are you
ready for it? It’s, it’s, uh um…
Who am I
kidding? There isn’t a secret, trick, or five-point plan that will turn you
into Martha Stewart with a side of The Nanny and a mix of J.K. Rowling’s. But I
can tell you how I somewhat manage my life, which works the majority of the
time. Here are the four ideas or techniques I’ve used over the years that kept
me from giving up my dreams and still being present for my family.
Set up a schedule. This sounds easy enough but I feel
it’s not. How often do you sit down and plan out a month or week in advance? I
know I’m lucky to plan a week let alone a few days ahead. If this is something
you do regularly then you're several steps beyond me and you are on the right
track. But, if you’re like me then you need to sit down and at least plan a one
or two-week schedule. Pick a day, Saturday or Sunday, pull out your smartphone
or calendar, and begin plugging in everything you need to get done in the next
few weeks. Don’t forget to include writing and work time in this schedule along
with school activities, doctor, family time, and your Yoga classes. I won’t lie
it will take a while to make this schedule. On average I need at least two
hours. I know that can be frustrating but once it’s complete then everything
else will fall into place.
Your Writing Time Must Be Taken
Seriously by Your Family. Now
that you have your schedule the next step is a family meeting. In this meeting,
stress that your writing time is important. It’s the same as if you were
holding a nine-to-five job. Depending on the age of your children, they should
respect and understand not to disturb Mom or Dad. I would say all school-aged
children, Kindergarten and up should be able to grasp this, particularly
because it’s what they learn at school. If you have younger children, my best
advice is to work late into the night and take a nap with your kiddos in the
afternoon. You also need to get your significant other to respect this time as
well as help you reinforce the importance to your children.
After you
set this up, keep it up. No more leaving your computer to get Johnny a glass of
milk, instead, make an announcement, “Ok, Mom’s going to work, so what does
that mean?” and “Before I start working do you need anything?” and “Only
interrupt if it’s an emergency.” You can set up what an “emergency” is with
your children, for our house an emergency is medical, a stranger at the door,
or a break-in. Of course, if they don’t follow the rules then there’ll need to
be a consequence. Otherwise, you’ll consistently get interrupted.
Remember to add “family” and “me”
time. Besides
your writing time, you must never forget to schedule in “me” and “family” time.
If you don’t then it won’t happen, at least that’s true in my household. After
all, you need a break from writing to recharge and these special times will
help you do that. Plus, you don’t want to miss out on those special moments
because that’s where you make precious memories.
A support system is a must! I can’t stress enough that you’ll
need to find a writer’s group for professional and emotional support. While
your family, spouse, or significant other is your best cheerleader they don’t
always keep you accountable to your craft. A writer’s group will remind you
that you need to finish up that chapter and complain with you about how their
kids got Covid too and how they didn’t get any writing done this week. Plus, a
writing group will give you writing tips, pointers, and advice on the craft,
and get you excited to write more. A great place to find a writing group is
with SCBWI.org (Society of Children Book Writers & Illustrators), your
library, local bookstores, or search on social media or Meetup
for groups nearby.
I hope
these few tips and resources will help you balance your work life with your
family life. It’s tough wearing all of those hats, but darling, they look good
on you and I know you can do it!
Kim Bartosch is a mom, Online ESL Teacher, and chauffeur for the
neighborhood kids. When she isn’t doing the latter, she is squeezing in writing
time for her next young adult thriller and mystery. Her debut novel “Ask the
Girl” is available at all major booksellers, such as Amazon,
Barnes & Noble, and Bookshop.org.
Excerpt:
I was told every person experiences three deaths.
The first is when the body stops working.
The second is when you’re sent to your grave.
The third is in the future, when the last person who remembers you dies, and speaks your name no more.
My father has died twice but still lives on in my heart. But this doesn’t comfort me.
I pressed my forehead against the cold glass as I stared out the car window. Trees and buildings whizzed by sending a wave of nausea through my body. I inhaled deeply pushing it back along with a deep ache of loss. No more late night movies. No more corny jokes about how I’m not allowed to date. No more childhood home as the car pulled onward to our new lives in Missouri with my aunt and uncle.
A furry black blur dashed out from behind a billboard sign. “Mom, watch out!”
The car lurched as Mom and Rose jumped from my outburst. “Lila, what is it?”
I waited for the thump but instead only heard the steady rhythm of tires on pavement. I whirled around to find a flattened animal out the back window but nothing. “Didn’t you see it?”
“See what?” Rose asked, peeking out the back.
“I think it was a cat or dog?”
“I don’t see anything.” Rose turned back around. Her head was shaking as she nestled her earbuds into her ears. She thinks I’m making things up, again. I know she thinks I’m being the dramatic, unreliable older sister. The sister who she can’t count on, stirs up trouble, and starts fires. But I didn’t start the fire. No one believes me that I didn’t do it. It was me at the wrong place at the wrong time. I tried to explain that to Mom and Rose but they didn't believe me. But it’s been that way ever since they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. When people know they treat you differently, even your family.
“Whatever it was, I missed it,” Mom said. Her eyes met mine in the rearview mirror. “Lila, Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She thought I made it up too.
“Sure?”
“Mom. I’m fine,” I said.
Mom held up her hands. “Okay, okay.”
The car went silent.
Rose turned up her music, blocking me out. Mom gripped the steering wheel so tight her knuckles were white as sun-bleached driftwood. She mumbled to herself, sighed and clicked on the car’s blinker. It ticked loudly announcing our descent into the Parkville exit.
The car turned down Main Street lined with old western-style brick buildings. Ancient homes perched on the bluffs and cliffs above the town. On the other side was a muddy, choppy river flowing a few hundred feet away from the road.
“This place hasn’t changed much,” Mom said.
Rose squirmed in the front seat as she stared wide-eyed out her window, her phone held up as always, recording a video. “I can’t wait to do my documentary. I found out that this town has a ghost!”
“Well, there’s a lot of history in this town. That’s for sure.” Mom drove the car slowly up Main Street. “Too much history,” she mumbled. Mom caught her reflection in the rearview mirror and fixed her hair frantically. She had the same blond hair as I did, but her eyes were a brighter green.
Aunt Theresa and Uncle John are nice but a little different. They’re complete opposites of one another, my aunt a true Midwest lady who hugs, kisses everyone and makes the best baked goods ever, while my uncle is a rough tattooed, bald biker who tells long stories about his good old days. We only see them once a year, which is enough for me. Now I have to figure out how to live with them.
We drove through the downtown part of Parkville and entered a subdivision of Colonial-type homes sitting high on steep hills above the road. Tall oaks and maple trees shaded the street and sidewalk where families in shorts and t-shirts walked their dogs, rode bikes, and pushed baby strollers. Eventually, the houses became fewer and Mom turned on a small gravel road with a sign that read, “Cooper’s Inn”. The road wound up and our small car groaned as it climbed the steep hillside. The trees closed in around the driveway but soon opened up to a grand three-story Victorian home with a broad wrap-around porch and four spiraling pillars much like Juliet’s tower.
“Wow!” Rose was gazing out of her window. The house rested on a bluff overlooking the Missouri River, rolling hills, bluffs, and some of the town. “I always love the view here.”
My aunt waited at the back door with a warm smile and waved as we pulled up. Her long dark hair sprinkled with gray blew into her face when she stepped outside. She wiped her hands on her apron dotted with flour and dough before tucking her hair behind her ears. Mom and Rose went to greet her but I walked to the back of the car to get my bags to avoid the hugs and pinched cheeks. A flash of bright light appeared out of the corner of my eye. Near the forest small globes of lights floating around the trees. I squinted to get a closer look.
“Yoohoo, Liiilaaa!” My aunt walked toward me, arms wide open. My heart dropped and my chest tightened, bubbling up against the urge to scream or cry uncontrollably but I knew I had to get this part over. So I closed my eyes and let my aunt drown me in her arms.
It will be fine Lila.
Relax.
Breathe.
Kim is a young adult writer of paranormal mysteries and thrillers. She is fond of ghost stories and has experienced many hauntings during several paranormal investigations. She has contributed many articles regarding travel, hauntings, and more on various sites. Kim has been on several ghost hunts across the U.S. with her sister. She photographed a ghost at the Crescent Hotel in Eureka Springs, Arkansas.
As an advocate for Autism and Bipolar Disorder, Kim offers her support to many charities and programs, such as Joshua Center and Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA). Kim feels there aren’t enough programs for mental disabilities. Her goal is to give as much help to set up these organizations for success so individuals, such as her autistic son and bipolar sister, will have the support they need.
Kim is an avid member of the Society of Children Book Writers & illustrators (SCBWI.org) contributing her time to many events and conferences.
Website: https://www.kimbartosch.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/KimBartosch/
Blog: https://kimberlybartosch.wixsite.com/blog
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimbartosch/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100069061958912
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing your guest post, bio and book details, I like the cover, synopsis and excerpt, Ask the Girl is a must read for my teen-aged granddaughters and I
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